Category Archives: FB Rant
The follow rant will contain some coarse language that is directed to the producers of the upcoming Academy Awards telecast. Don’t let the kiddies read any further.
Upon hearing the news that Oscar producers Bruce Cohen and Don Mischer chose James Franco and Anne Hathaway as the hosts for the Academy Awards in February, I was thinking, “Are you serious?” Ladies and gentlemen, your hosts for the 83rd Annual Academy Awards… say what? I’m sorry. I love James and Anne in different ways, but I’m not sold on the concept.
The blogosphere is up in arms about the announcement of the younger hosts for this year’s telecast. Straying away from the established comedians like Jon Stewart, Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Rock or respected actors like Whoopi Goldberg and Bob Hope. I need to chime in with my two cents on the supposed “controversy”.
Everybody knows that the real reason the producers choose Franco and Hathaway because of publicity on both sides. The producers need viewers to watch this stuffy, chi-chi-frou-frou award ceremony.The Academy is an octogenarian now. It has an established history of thumbing their nose at other award shows. Now, the producers wants to make the show like Mtv Movie Awards. It’s not gonna fly. No matter how many configurations that you put through, it’s not gonna work. It has fallen off the rails for a long time now. The shows need a complete overhaul.
This hosting choice is great publicity for the new younger hosts, because Franco is trying desperately to promote his Oscar baity movie, 127 Hours which is barely playing anywhere and Hathaway has a movie that is tanking at the box office now, Love & Other Drugs. I also posed this question to the members of my Oscar Watchers group about if James Franco is nominated for 127 Hours would that be favoritism towards him. It reminds me of when Hugh Jackman hosted the 2004 Tonys when he was nominated for The Boy from Oz and he won. The same thing happened on the 2001 Tonys when Nathan Lane hosted and won the Tony at the end of the night. Hmm… I may be reaching, but it’s a thought.
Changing the rules every year is getting very tiring like with last year with expanding the Best Picture to ten yielded The Blind Side going up against District 9, Up and The Hurt Locker. It was a hot ass mess! What happened to the streamlining of the award show like in 2009? It made it worth watching. No really. What the hell happened?
The Oscars going for a younger audience is not gonna fly. The average 18-30 demographic will not watch the Oscars unless they are a cinephile or gay. That’s it. If the Oscars were like the The Spirit Awards, everybody and their mommas would watch it. That’s it! It needs to be looser, casual, less stuffy with lots of F bombs. Are you listening Oscar producers? I hope you are.
The summer movie season has been long reserved for the major blockbusters that studio want to take up the slack from the dumping ground movies from January to April. DreamWorks’s “How to Train Your Dragon” can not be in theaters forever. Something needs to get the momentum going from good movie to good movie, but they hasn’t. Not yet.
People have been actively avoiding the movies opening up this year including myself. The last movie that I have seen was the SNL movie bomb, “MacGruber”. There are slim picking out there people. Hearing the “meh” response for most of the releases had me worried. Why do the movies this year suck? Is it a trickle down effect of the writer’s strike of late 2007? Projectionists were saying that the effects of the strike would be felt last year and they were right. Is this an elongated domino effect? Who knows?
“Iron Man 2” was supposed to the opening gunshot for the summer movie season, but it was like more of a bb gun going off. When the first movie came out during the same time two years ago, it was a surprise. Everything was against, a superhero that not that many people know, have Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark with an actor/director, Jon Faverau at the helm. This movie was supposed to be a worthy successor, but it turns out just to be a big set-up from the upcoming “Avengers” movie. This will have a trickle down effect on the “Thor” and “Captain America” movies. They would have a mindset of “it’s just gonna be another bridge for this other movie.” Ultimately, they will suffer for it.
Ridley Scott tries to give as the umpteenth version of “Robin Hood”. This is not the “Nottingham” movie that was first pitched that intrigued the film going community. Now, we are stuck with “Gladiator 2” set in medieval times. We have “Shrek Forever After” or “The Final Chapter” whatever the hell it’s called. Who cares about the same characters doing the same thing throughout the entire? Hmm… why does that sound so familiar? Oh, right. The next sparkling vampire-underage jailbait flick that makes the tweens cream themselves, “Eclipse”. People are camping out to see the pile of werewolf shit. See! This is why Hollywood is going to shit.
This is not a fluke people. “Prince of Persia” was a flimsy mess. “Killers” would the operative word for any chance for this movie to succeed. “Marmaduke”? Really? This movie was made! Why? “Jonah Hex” was a poor excuse of filmmaking in general. Then, you have remakes of 80s properties like “The Karate Kid” and “The A-Team”? Should they even need to be remade? What is wrong with looking at the original properties? Are people so afraid of something older than one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend that they have to see a new carbon copy of it?
As the weeks and months roll in, I continue to avoid going into theater. With “Grown Ups” and “Knight and Day”, “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” “Priest”, “Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore”, “Little Fockers”, “Step-Up 3D”– Who the fuck wants to see a dance movie in 3D? Are you fucking kidding me people? — on the horizon, I am still holding out.
Do we have to wait until the season is half over to get a movie that has been both critically praised and commercially successful? Apparently, so. There are a few bright spots with “Toy Story 3”, the upcoming Nolan flick “Inception”, “The Other Guys”, “Eat Pray Love”, “Scott Pilgrim vs the World”, and “The Expendables”. I hope that they would be better than the dreck Hollywood spews on us every weekend. It makes me feel sad that I have to scrape and claw to see a good movie at my local indie theater than one of the so-called “blockbusters” than are more blocks of shit.
Hollywood producers need to wake up, because more and more people are getting sick and tired of paying ten dollars to be disappointed. It’s not fair for the consumer, because they feel cheated in the end. It’s just not worth it.
The follow rant will contain some coarse language that is directed to anybody running Hollywood studios and greenlight movies. Don’t let the kiddies read any further.
The genesis of this rant come from a tweet that I had written about the difference between Deadpool and Deathstroke. They are both masked mercenaries that use samurai swords and guns as weapons. Then it was another tweet about everybody going into 3D. Lately, I have been disheartened about the lack of originality with Hollywood. What the fuck is your problem, Tinseltown? Ever since Pocahontas/Fern Gully/Dances With Wolves rip-off Avatar came out, everybody wants to convert movies into 3D. Why? Alice in Wonderland, the new Clash of the Titans was converted to 3D post-production. Why would you do that? It would just look shitty as all get out.
Now, every movie is going to be in 3D; the reboot Spider-Man movie, Saw VII, Shrek 4, Step-Up 3, Jackass Tres, Tron: Legacy, Green Lantern, Toy Story 3, and the sequel to The Hangover. Are you fucking kidding me? Enough already! You know that this is a tool to gauge the consumer so the studios could make back their money. Just because Avatar made $2 billion dollars worldwide doesn’t mean that process is going to be repeated. Keep dreaming.
Next, vampire movies. Oh, my god! Stop it. Just because those shitty Stephanie Meyer books are making tween girls cream in their panties doesn’t mean that you should make another vamp movie. We already had The Vampire’s Assistant, Daybreakers, a sequel to 30 Days of Night, the US remake of Let the Right One In, Priest, Abraham Lincoln: The Vampire Hunter, Blood: The Last Vampire, The Vampire Diaries, Dark Shadows, Fright Night remake, and Vamps. I wish that we could suck the blood out of this genre.
What’s up with the entire modern take on Greek mythology? We already had Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. What an obnoxious title, by the way. It’s basically a teen version of Clash of the Titans, which already mentioned. Now, there is another movie called War of the Gods or something. Why do we need that?
The success of The Hangover, everybody wants to make the next (insert sleep hit movie here). That was the downfall of She’s Out of My League. The blurbs were saying that this is the next big thing and it’s not. You are setting yourself up for failure.
I am getting sick and tired of movies getting unfairly compared to one another. I don’t know if this rant made sure. I needed to vent.
The follow rant will contain some coarse language that is directed to anybody associated with televised award seasons and the voting academy in general. Don’t let the kiddies read any further.
I’m having an epiphany. With the current award season in full swing, I am having a heated discussion on my Oscar Watchers groups after the SAG awards. The awards almost repeated the Golden Globes a couple of days before.
I realize the awards show are becoming more irrelevant every year when sub par movies or performances are being rewarded for going outside the box or being more than average. I maybe rambling incoherently in this rant, but bear with me.
During awards show season, the same actors or movies are always hogging the prize for more deserving ones. Personally, I am happy to see Mo’Nique speak eloquently about being recognized for her efforts or Christoph Waltz being thrilled for being exposed a completely new audience of fans.
I have a problem when actors get the “Career prize”. It doesn’t matter what it is. In case of Jeff Bridges, he is basically playing the same role that Mickey Rourke did last year in “The Wrestler”. Rourke didn’t get that much love, but Jeff is because Jeff has been nominated for four Oscars and everybody wants him to win. Is he deserving of the Oscar? Maybe. But like with Al Pacino in “Scent of a Woman”, Morgan Freeman in “Million Dollar Baby”, Sean Penn in “Mystic River” or Martin Scorsese for “The Departed”, they rewarded prizes for the Academy’s screw-ups. I don’t like that.
People have been arguing about the “politicking” and the “campaigning” of certain people or movies. I think the performance should stand alone, not what the studios or the stars want. They should be rewarded for their effort, not how much the studios are paying for trade ads, etc.
The awards have been fawning over Sandra Bullock for “The Blind Side” which I’m not surprised. This is basically what I like to call “The Erin Brockovich Effect”. Just because you put on a blond wig, have crazy accent and tight outfits doesn’t mean that you should get the big prize. I have no qualms against Bullock. I like her, but I don’t think that her performance is Oscar-worthy in my eyes. Others beg to differ.
There was this notion of Bullock being a work horse for so many that she should get some recognition for her body of work. No. I don’t see it that way. She should be rewarded for giving a great performance better Streep’s Julie Child, Mulligan’s innocent schoolgirl, Sidibe’s abused teen mother or Mirren’s neglectful wife. A person’s age, genre of movie, subject matter should immediatel eliminate them for getting an award. If that is the case, don’t nominate them at all.
There is also something about how the blockbusters would haul in all the awards like “Avatar” for Best Picture (Drama) and The Hangover (Comedy) at the Golden Globes. I don’t buy that. A film winning should be determined by money totals. It should be recognized for pure merit. If box office in the only drive forces, then “Avatar” should win along with “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”, “The Hangover”, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”, “The Proposal”, etc.
There is also the notion of the people voting for what’s best ala Mtv, Peoples or Teen Choice awards. Giving awards to some shitty movie like “Twilight”, “High School Musical” or “The Ugly Truth” should give pause that awards shows are a fucking joke. Allowing tweens to vote would kill everything.
I don’t know if the rant made any sense, but I need to get out of my system. I think I am frustrated that good movies are being overlooked for middle-of-road fare. I am becoming disillusioned with these events more and more that I can’t get excited anymore. I guess, I have resigned the fact that awards are pointless, boring, and a waste of time when the same people and movies are winning repeatedly. There is not that surprise factor in years past.
I have said my peace. I hope.
Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool, Captain Excellent, The Green Lantern and The Flash!
The follow rant may contain some coarse language that is directed to Warner Bros, Martin Campbell, Ryan Reynolds and his representatives. Don’t let the kiddies read any further.
As many of you know from reading my posts over the past couple of months, I love Ryan Reynolds. He is even on the front of my Facebook profile.
Also, there were my numerous tweets about the speculation about who will be Green Lantern; Nathan Fillion, Brian Austin Green, Anton Yelchin, Chris Pine, Sam Witwer, Shawn Roberts, Jard Leto, Henry Cavill, Bradley Cooper and Justin Timberlake.
Over the weekend, I heard that Bradley, Ryan and Justin were the finalists. Yesterday, I heard that Ryan snagged the role. He does looks more like Hal Jordan, but isn’t he just type casted as the superhero type?
Earlier this summer, Ryan shined in an otherwise pile of elephant shit, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Now, he is in active development on the spinoff for his character, Deadpool aka “The Merc with the Mouth” that is slated to be released in 2011.
Ryan is also playing a superhero is an independent film called Paper Man. A movie that stars Jeff Daniels as a struggling author with writer’s block that has an imaginary childhood friend named Captain Excellent. Nobody knows when that movie is coming out.
Now that Ryan is the new Green Lantern, I have to pose the question. Is he being typecast? He cannot be his smart-alecky self as Hal Jordan. It will not work. What is going to happen with the Green Lantern and Deadpool movies coming out in the same year? Wouldn’t they be tired of Ryan as every superhero to ever exist?
I heard rumors that Ryan is set to play The Flash. It is set to be released 2011 as well.
Is he spreading himself too thin? Maybe he should play Captain America so he could be in The Avengers movie with his wife, Scarlett Johannson. Let him be Ant-Man, The Green Arrow, Aquaman and every other superhero that was ever created.
I’m sorry for the fanboy response here, but isn’t that move going to backfire on Ryan. Him playing multiple superheroes at the same time.
I am looking out for the best interest of Ryan. He is spreading himself out two thin. I am hesitant about the news. I just have to see it to believe it.
The follow rant contains coarse language that is directed to the movie industry as whole and the typical American moviegoer. Don’t let the kiddies read any further.
Lately, the American people have been bombarded with trailers, pictures, about the same stories over and over again.
I have compiled a list of movie genres that need to die:
1. Unnecessary Sequels – Unless it is a good movie and that is have a worthy story for a continuation. Don’t make a sequel. Look at “Night at the Museum 2”, “Terminator Salvation”, “Pink Panther 2” and eventually “Paul Blart 2.”
2. Prequels or Interquels – Why the fuck would you do that? Who gives a flying fuck about how something started? Let us in suspense, you dip shit. Examples: “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”, “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans”, “Star Wars Episodes 1-3”, “Fast & Furious”
3. Remakes, Reimagining, Reboots – Whenever you call it, it’s still going to suck hard cock. Trying to make something on fringe more mainstream aka watered down drivel to peddle to the dumb American moviegoer. Complete waste of money, talent and time. Examples: “My Bloody Valentine: 3D”, “Last House on the Left”, “Friday the 13th.” Remake a shitty movie and make it better. Duh!
4. Cheesy Cookie Cutter Romantic Comedies – They are the same formula, different configuration. You are not fooling anyone. Boy meets girl. Boy lies to girl to get her. Boy keeps a secret from her. Boy confides in best friend, family member or co-worker with said secret. They fall in love. Secret gets out. They break up. Cue the sappy music with endless stares out the rainy window, long walks on the sidewalk, looking at the phone. The grand gesture of love when the boy runs to girl and declare his love for her. They kiss. Up crane shot fading into black. Sound familiar. Examples: “He’s Just Not That Into You”, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”, “27 Dresses.”
5. Post-Apocalyptic Tales – Why all the doom and gloom, people? Why is everyone so set on the end of the world? Our horrible death? The Earth blowing up into space dust? There is a billion movies about the end of the world and I am sick of it. Examples: “The Book of Eli”, “The Road”, “Terminator Salvation”.
6. WWII/Holocaust/Nazi Movies – We get it, people! Jews good. Nazis bad. Hitler worse. Any kind of spin you put on it, it’s still the fucking same thing. The ending is anti-climatic. Talk about WWI, The Spanish American War, the War of 1812,. I don’t give a fuck. Something! Examples: “The Reader”, “Good,” “Defiance”, “Valkyrie”, “The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.”
7. Oscar baity movies – Those awful movies that were clearly made for Oscars so the studios could puff up their chests on Oscar night. Examples: “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, “Atonement”, “Michael Clayton”, “Forrest Gump.”
8. Unnecessary Horror Movie Franchises – How many fucking “Saw” movies are you going to crank out? Really? Examples: “Saw”, Hostel”, “Final Destination.””
9. Badly CG movies – You think that you could get away with movies that have crappy CG effects? Example: “Angels and Demons”
10. Mediocre Blockbuster Movies – You could just dole out mindless entertainment to the masses, so you could make a profit. WTF! Examples: “Taken”, “Fast & Furious”, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”
I’ve said my peace.
A couple of days ago, I was looking through the LAMB website. I saw that that there was another screener opportunity like the one with Die-ner (Get It?) I looked at the website and saw the trailer to movie. It reminded me of a movie ten years ago, Blair Witch Project, but I let that slide for the time being.
Well, I emailed one of the producers of the movie. In the context of this rant, I will call said producer, Heartless Bastard to protect his douchey identity. I emailed Heartless Bastard with the following message.
“On Tue, May 12, 2009 at 10:41 AM, Branden Renfro <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Hello, Heartless Bastard.
My name is Branden Renfro and I write a film review blog called “Foolish Blatherings.” I want reading on the LAMB website about obtaining a screener of your movie, “Evil Things.” I am interested in watching your film.
You could send the screener to this address:
I waited for his response. I knew that he was busy and will get back to me eventually. The next I recieved this message from Heartless Bastard:
Do you currently have a website that has viewers? I’m really trying to promote my Blair Witch Project ripoff, and since it very expensive to send out screeners, I have to know that I’m going to get some kind of publicity in return on a site that has viewers. Please let me know.
I give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure that it could be expensive to send out screener. Even though, you were advertised[sic] on a site that have small viewership [sic]to its members. “Die-ner” producer Seth Martin was very gracious to send one. He just burned the movie on a CD-R disk and sent it out. I bit my tongue.
I responded by:
“On May 13, 2009, at 12:02 PM, Branden Renfro <email@example.com> wrote:
My website gets a couple of viewers a day, roughly 30 a day. The last movie that I promoted, I had a couple of people wanting to see that movie. They want to support films that doesn’t have distribution yet.
By the end of the day, Heartless Bastard sent this to me.
“I’m sorry Branden, I need to have higher numbers than that to justify sending you a screener. Really sorry about that.Heartless Bastard
Sent from my
I know that it is a little selfish of me, but you don’t have to be rude. I’m not the one that sinked my life savings on a movie that rips off another movie. You are the one that has a movie to hock, not me. You need all the publicity that you get and you cannot afford to alienate people that could get your the distributor that you need.
From this day forward, I put a hex on you and your shitty movie. If I actually see the movie, I will massacre it in my review. Believe that. I am an angry black woman. You do not pissed off an angry black woman. I will go off on your ass! I hope that your movie doesn’t find a distributor.
Who the hell would make a movie when you are about to lose your job? What kind of dumbass would do such a thing?
That is all children. Go play now.
The follow rant contains coarse language that is directed to Fox Studios and it’s subsidiaries. Don’t let the kiddies read any further.
April Fool’s Day has just passed and Fox Studios had the joke pulled on them when their first potential summer cash cow, X-Men Origins: Wolverine was leaked on the Internet. I had to laugh my ass off, because Fox Studios has been making mind-bogglingly stupid decisions as of late.
When I heard that this movie was being made, I was initially excited for it. It would be Fox’s redemption after the travesty that was X-Men: The Last Stand.
After the next couple of months when the cast was announced, I was eagerly anticipating this film. Then, the train car wheels came off the rails. The main villain of the movie is Sabretooth, who was introduced in the first X-Men movie. First retcon. (If you don’t know what “retcon” is, it retroactive continuity.)
Some birdies told me that the higher-ups at Fox Studios were tampering with Gavin Hood’s original version of the back story of Wolverine. So typical, Fox.
They wanted to add more characters to make it like “X-Men: New Generation”. Why?
Late last year when I heard word that Gavin Hood was doing re-shoots to correct the fucked up scenes that the studio wanted. I was fine with that. Maybe it could a decent movie. This is Fox that we are talking about. I was not holding my breath.
When I saw the teaser for this film, I was underwhelmed that they almost told the entire story of the film in those two and half minutes. Way to go!
The second trailer was released. Then, there was news that Cyclops was in the film. Second retcon. What?
Has Fox not seen the original X-Men trilogy? In the first goddamn movie, Wolverine and Cyclops didn’t know each other. Now, you have them meet up, erase their memories of knowing each other, like with Sabretooth, and everything will be hooky-dory. No, I don’t think so.
Then, there was the question of Deadpool and the melted person fighting Wolverine in the end was Deadpool. The toy of the Deadpool character was leaked to the public. Everyone cried foul that Fox fucked up a great character. Ryan Reynolds confirmed that Deadpool/Weapon XI are the same. What the fuck?
The only saving grace in that the Deadpool movie would forget that this movie existed.
I am wondering. Who the fuck is running this movie studio? A trained monkey? Who is making this idiotic decisions? They should be fired effective immediately.
I bet that your PR people are going into meltdown mode after this latest debacle that was mainly your fault for being complete douche bags. Putting out craptastic flicks like The Happening, 12 Rounds, Bride Wars, The Day the Earth Stood Still and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. But, you had a substantial movie like Taken that you released in Europe before FINALLY deciding to release it in the States in late January which grossed over $100 millions dollars. Stupid planning.
People are posting screen images of Hugh Jackman’s nude scene. The movie is being sought after in Bit Torrent sites. Not that I’m surprised.
People were speculating that the visual effects company, Rising Sun Pictures leaked the movie online, which they have denied.
Fox is not commenting on the shit storm that they found themselves in. Are you surprised? I’m not.
Yes, there is a rough cut of the movie that it out there in cyberspace for everyone to ridicule about the bastardization of the X-Men name.
You had it coming, Fox. You have no one to blame but yourselves.
Fuck you infinity, Fox!