FB Rant: I Put A Hex On You!


A couple of days ago, I was looking through the LAMB website. I saw that that there was another screener opportunity like the one with Die-ner (Get It?) I looked at the website and saw the trailer to movie. It reminded me of a movie ten years ago, Blair Witch Project, but I let that slide for the time being.

Well, I emailed one of the producers of the movie. In the context of this rant, I will call said producer, Heartless Bastard to protect his douchey identity. I emailed Heartless Bastard with the following message.

“On Tue, May 12, 2009 at 10:41 AM, Branden Renfro <bdsr80@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello, Heartless Bastard.

My name is Branden Renfro and I write a film review blog called “Foolish Blatherings.” I want reading on the LAMB website about obtaining a screener of your movie, “Evil Things.” I am interested in watching your film.

You could send the screener to this address:

Branden Renfro
(Address omitted)

Thank you.”

I waited for his response. I knew that he was busy and will get back to me eventually. The next I recieved this message from Heartless Bastard:

“Hi Branden,

Do you currently have a website that has viewers?  I’m really trying to promote my Blair Witch Project ripoff, and since it very expensive to send out screeners, I have to know that I’m going to get some kind of publicity in return on a site that has viewers.  Please let me know.


Heartless Bastard


I give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure that it could be expensive to send out screener. Even though, you were advertised[sic] on a site that have small viewership [sic]to its members. “Die-ner” producer Seth Martin was very gracious to send one. He just burned the movie on a CD-R disk and sent it out. I bit my tongue.

I responded by:

“On May 13, 2009, at 12:02 PM, Branden Renfro <bdsr80@yahoo.com> wrote:

My website gets a couple of viewers a day, roughly 30 a day. The last movie that I promoted, I had a couple of people wanting to see that movie. They want to support films that doesn’t have distribution yet.


By the end of the day, Heartless Bastard sent this to me.

“I’m sorry Branden, I need to have higher numbers than that to justify sending you a screener.  Really sorry about that.
Heartless Bastard

Sent from my iPhone”

I know that it is a little selfish of me, but you don’t have to be rude. I’m not the one that sinked my life savings on a movie that rips off another movie. You are the one that has a movie to hock, not me. You need all the publicity that you get and you cannot afford to alienate people that could get your the distributor that you need.

From this day forward, I put a hex on you and your shitty movie. If I actually see the movie, I will massacre it in my review. Believe that. I am an angry black woman. You do not pissed off an angry black woman. I will go off on your ass! I hope that your movie doesn’t find a distributor.

Who the hell would make a movie when you are about to lose your job? What kind of dumbass would do such a thing?

That is all children. Go play now.


About Branden

Branden: I am just your average movie nut that reviews films. Gives his take on pop culture and Hollywood happenings. Dreams to have his own thriving website and make a living doing what he is passionate about.

Posted on May 14, 2009, in FB Rant and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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