The Proposal (2009)

Do you prefer Margaret or “Satan’s Mistress”?

— Grandma Annie

Back from my Juneteenth out of town engagement, and also being a huge Ryan Reynolds fan, The Proposal was next on my radar. Going into the movie, knowing that the premise would be ridiculous from the get-go. It’s a typical romantic comedy that worse than typical. It’s almost of parody of itself.

Sandra Bullock plays Margaret Tate, a “bitchy ice queen” NYC book publisher that is a cross between a spayed version of Miranda Priestley from The Devil Wears Prada, and Bullock’s character in the much maligned Crash. She rules the her publishing office with an iron fist? She is running her frazzled assistant, Andrew Paxton (Ryan Reynolds) ragged.

Margaret is called into Chairman Bergmen’s (Michael Nouri) office that say that her visa has expired and she has to be deported back to Canada. She decides that she and Andrew will get married in order to stay in the country and keep her powerful position in the company.

That’s the ridiculousness of the premise. Canada? Really? She doesn’t want to go back to Canada. What’s so bad about Canada? Shit. Being an natural born American citizen, I would go to Canada. Whatever.

Margaret is shocked that she has to go to Alaska to visit Andrew’s family in order to convince the immigration officer, Mr. Gilbertson (Denis O’Hare) that they are a “real deal” couple. Spare me, your feigned shock.

When the twosome arrive is Sitka, Alaska, all hell breaks loose. Margret finding out that Andrew family is welathy by small town standards.

The movie was so mind numbing. So dull. I didn’t care about the much talked about “running into each other nude” scene. The setup for that was preposterous. The scenes with Craig T. Nelson who plays the father and Ryan were excruciating to watch. Malin Ackerman’s character is named Gertrude. Let that marinate for a hot minute.

The typical ending did not make sense. Understanding Margret’s intentions to fall for Andrew were displayed, but there was not a moment that Andrew would fall for Margret. Not one instance. What a cop out.

The only laugh out loud moments were Betty White, who plays Grandma Annie and Oscar Nuñez who plays Ramone. That’s it.

Judgment: Another cookie cutter Hollywood rom-com that is not worth the price of admission.

Rating: **

Blades of Glory (2007)

Nancy Kerrigan. You an official here? Cause you’ve officially given me a boner!

— Chazz

I caught bits and pieces of Blades of Glory on cable for the past couple of months and I like it. I thought that I might bite the bullet and see another sports-related vehicle for Will Ferrell.

Sidebar– What is up with Will Ferrell doing sports movies? Soon he would run out of sports to mock. Maybe he will do jai-alai, cricket, or curling. Oh, joy!

The basic plot centers around two rival skaters: Jimmy MacElroy, a skating prodigy that was adopted by a power hungry man, Darren (William Fitchner) and the other is “the bad boy of figure skating”, Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell).

Their rivalry comes to a head when they tie for first place at a skating competition. They get into an altercation and they are subsequently banned from skating.

Over three years later, down on their luck, the two rivals come back together as a male/male figure skating team.

Their common adversaries are the brother/sister team of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg (Will Arnett, Amy Poehler) that would do anything to grab the gold.

There are some cameos from some of skating greats, Nancy Kerrigan, Sacha Cohen, Brian Boitano, Peggy Fleming, Scott Hamilton and Dorothy Hamill.

I have to say this. This is the gayest straight movie I have ever seen. The costumes are ridiculous. They look like they are stuck in 1970s with the feathered tresses and the fringe tops. The “romance” between Jimmy and Katie Van Waldenberg (Janna Fischer) was too convenient to be taken seriously.

If you saw the performances of the teams, you have to ask yourself, “That doesn’t deserve a gold medal. Not even for a participation ribbon.” They were bad.

Judgment: I did laugh with this movie and at this movie, but I wouldn’t bother understanding the logic here.

Rating: **