Fast & Furious (2009)

I’m a boy who appreciates a good body, regardless of the marque.

— Dominic Toretto

After burning through millions of DVDs over the past week, I wanted to catch a movie at the cinema. The movies that I wanted to watch were not available, except for one: Fast & Furious. I was not terribly excited for this movie. All the the original cast the The Fast and the Furious are back this outing. It was a waste of time.

In this “interquel” from the first movie, the audience is reintroduced to Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his girlfriend, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) as they try to rob an oil tanker. Things go wrong. They are focused to go on the run some more.

Dom knows that he would be caught and he doesn’t want Letty to be there to see it. He leaves her behind.

When he is in Panama, he hears news from his sister, Mia (Jordana Brewster) that Letty was killed. Everything becomes like a vigilante story, instead of a film about fast cars.

The morally comprised undercover cop/FBI agent, Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) investigates a drug cartel kingpin named Braga, who is trying to sneak his supply in the U.S.

The former rivals, O’Conner and Toretto re-team to help track down the person that killed Letty and the Braga person that could be the mastermind behind everything.

I have watched the entire franchise that this movie was so boring. Why can’t it be flashy cars, burning rubber and sexy bare chestedness? The cars were just on the back burner in this movie than in the first movie. It is a shame.

The movie tried to be a procedural, but it fails. I didn’t care. The characters were wasted. The tunnel chase was completely lame. The GPS race was morally reprehensible. Endangering innocent people lives so they could be Braga’s “driver.” Whatever.

One last little note about Brian O’Conner. How the hell did he get the FBI job? He is awful as a cop. He let Dom go in the end of the first movie and the high-ups say, “Yes, you neglected to bring in Toretto. Let’s promote you.” Say what? Are you fucking kidding me?

Judgment: Don’t bother watching this movie. Watch the first movie and Tokyo Drift instead.

Rating: *1/2