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The Wolfman (2010)

I am what I say I am… a monster.

— Lawrence Talbot

The Wolfman is another movie that was bumped of the 2009 season so the studio could make changes to the score, changing directors and the digital effects of the werewolf transformation. I did not see the original movie that this reboot is based on, but I wished I did see that movie. This movie is mediocre at best.

1891 London, Lawrence Talbot (Benicio del Toro) is with theater troupe when he gets a letter from his brother, Ben’s fiancé, Gwen (Emily Blunt) telling him of his brother disappearance. He is estranged from his family for years. He drops his life to go back to his childhood home to find out from his father, John (Anthony Hopkins), but learns that his brother’s body was found, mangled and mauled. They are preparing for the funeral.

Lawrence out of the blue decides to investigate the circumstances of his brother’s murder when he saw his body at the morgue. He sees a gold medallion in his brother’s possessions and tries to find the origin. The people of the town think that something is killing people that make it look like a wild animal attack them.

Not heeding his father’s warning about venturing out on a full moon, Lawrence goes into the woods where the gypsies live to find out what exactly killed his brother. It was not a wild animal. It was a beast. The beast attacks the settlement in a gory blur, spraying gypsy blood all over the forest. Lawrence tries to shoot the wild animal attacking the villagers. He is attacked by the wild beast. Gwen tries to nurse him back to health.

Scotland Yard Inspector Francis Abberline (Hugo Weaving) comes to town to interview Lawrence about the attack. He wants a specialist to examine his injuries suffered in the attack that have miraculously healed. People want to take him because he was bitten by the beast, a werewolf. They want to restrain him before the beast comes out again.

This movie is so lame. The characters are bland and boring. I did not believe that del Toro and Hopkins were family. Emily Blunt was wasted as the scared woman going between brother to brother. The “love story” was forced and uninspiring. The story meandered. I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t care. I was sick of jump scares. Stop it! What the fuck is with that dream sequence in the insane asylum? Lawrence’s flashbacks had me scratching my head.

Judgment: This movie almost made An American Werewolf is Paris look like a masterpiece. Almost.

Rating: **

Snatch (2000)

Where is the stone?

— Franky Four Fingers

Personally, I have a lukewarm reception to some Guy Ritchie’s movies. I have seen some snippets of Snatch since it was released in 2000. This movie is currently #186 on the IMDB Top 250 of all time. Some people think that this movie is overrated. I don’t think so. It was a solid movie.

This is an ensemble piece about a bunch of bumbling crooks trying to get their hands on an 86-carat flawlessly cut diamond.

It starts with a struggling boxing promoter and also the narrator of the film, Turkish (Jason Statham) and his partner, Tommy (Stephen Graham) trying to repay a debt to a ruthless bookie, Brick Top (Alan Ford). They try to buy a caravan from an incomprehensible gypsy boxer, Mickey O’Neil (Brad Pitt).

Another plot outline is when a gambler, Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) steals the diamond after a jewel heist to possibly gamble it away. He is employed by Boris the Blade (Rade Šerbedžija).

Boris also hires Sol (Lennie James), Vinnie (Robbie Gee) with Tyrone (Ade) as the getaway driver to steal the diamond from Franky.

A New York businessman, Avi (Dennis Farina) hears the news that the diamond was stolen flies to London to confront his cousin, Doug the Head (Mike Reid). Eventually, Avi hires some muscle with Bullet Tooth Tony (Vinnie Jones) and Rosebud (Sam Douglas).

There are a lot of twists and turns, backstabbing, and some genuine hilarious moments. A solid feature from Guy Ritchie.

There were some wink-wink moments in the movie when in one scene when Bullet Tooth Tony is roughing up a guy in a car, the radio is turned on to Madonna’s “Lucky Star.” How ironic.

Judgment: If you want to see a solid heist movie, then this movie is more your speed.

Rating: ****1/2

FB Recommendation: 21 Grams (2003)

I know I haven’t posted in a couple of days. I have seen some shitty movies that I dare not write about, because of their mediocrity. I heard on a blog that I frequent that 21 Grams is being shown now on Hulu. I was happy. I have the film at home.

This was a vastly under appreciated movie when it came out in 2003. It only got two Oscar nominations for Naomi Watts and Benicio del Toro. It deserved alot more than that. The script by Arriaga should have gotten a nom.

The movie is about three broken people that intersect. Naomi Watts plays Cristina, a former drug addicted mother that recently suffers a loss when his entire family is killed in a traffic accident by Jack Jordan (Benicio del Toro).

Toro is an ex-con that has found Christianity, and is trying to find some redemption for his past deeds. Eddie Marsan plays Reverned John, his mentor that is tried of him being a loose cannon. When Jack comes back home to his wife, Marianne (Melissa Leo), they try to cover up the crime.

The last piece of the puzzle is Paul Rivers (Sean Penn), a mathamatician that is in the middle heart failure when he recieves a heart from Cristina’s late husband, Michael (Danny Huston). He goes to seek out the family of the man that gave him life. He watches over Cristina that is regressing back to drugs. He falls in love with her.

Tragic consequences happen in course of this movie. Check this movie out. I couldn’t stress that enough.

My rating: ****1/2 stars.

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