The Losers (2010)
I’m warning you, I am a lethal killing machine. It was a secret government experiment. They did stuff to me. Spooky stuff… Anal stuff. It turned me into a dangerous telekinetic. In the words of Ancient Taoist masters, Don’t start none… Won’t be none.
A couple of months ago, I did a “Compare and Contrast” about how familiar the upcoming A-Team movie adaptation is to this movie, The Losers. Both of these films deal with mercenaries that were betrayed and they have nothing to lose. I also want to point out that this sounds familiar to another movie, The Expendables, the new Stallone flick. Not being familiar with the original Andy Diggle comic book series, I went into this movie blind. This film is a huge stink bomb. Let me explain.
This movie starts in Bolivia where a US Special Forces soldiers; pilot Pooch (Columbus Short), hacker Jensen (Chris Evans), sniper Cougar (Óscar Jaenada), the second-in-command Roque (Idris Elba) and leader Clay (Jeffery Dean Morgan) make up the titular team. They are on a search and destroy mission to kill shameless drug and arms dealer, Fadhil (Peter Francis James) who is using children as drug mules. The team doesn’t know this before the air strike is about to happen. When the team tries to call off the strike, the military chain of command proceeds, but the Losers save the kids.
The team is betrayed by their handler, Max (Jason Patric) who thinks that the helicopter that his blows up had the rescued kids, instead of them. Feeling the ultimate betrayal and presumed dead, the team are not soldiers anymore and decide to find a way to get back to the US legitimately. They take small jobs at local doll factory to scrape some money together.
At a bar one night, Clay meets a beautiful woman, Aisha (Zoe Saldana) who informs him after a rough and tumble fight in his hotel room that she has a way to get the guys back into the States and get revenge on Max. The rest of the team are not too keen on the plan, especially Roque would thinks that Clay loses his edge when a woman is involved in a mission. Clay goes against Roque’s wishes and aligns himself with Aisha.
Meanwhile, the “evil” Max hatches his plan for world destruction contract a couples of scientist from Dubai to get him an environmentally friendly bomb called a snuke to start a war that would benefit the United States. Sidebar—a green terrorist? That is ludicrous. I laughed my ass off when that phrase came out of his mouth. He is joined by his right-hand man, Wade (Holt McCallany) to carry out his master plan.
The Losers go to a rendezvous point in Miami which they think that Max is being transported, but it turns out to be a high-tech safe deposit box. They think that it could be the leverage they need to take Max down once and for all.
The movie is insipid. I thought the cast was fine with the exception of Jason Patric. What movie do he come from? He was laughable as the “bad guy” with that fucked up left hand of his that was never explained. Did he try to channel Hannibal Lecter there? It was cringe-worthy to say the least. The action was fine for a PG-13 flick. I have to say, do we need to subplot about Jensen being heavily into his niece’s soccer team, The Petunias. There is some glaring plotholes that had me scratching my head.
Judgment: Just another subpar action flick.
Posted on June 7, 2010, in 2010, Action, Adventure, Comedy, Crime, Drama and tagged Óscar Jaenada, Chris Evans, Columbus Short, Holt McCallany, Idris Elba, Jason Patric, Jeffery Dean Morgan, Peter Francis James, Peter Macdissi, The Losers, Zoe Saldana. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.