Horror Movie Checklist

Watching a dozen horror movies for the past week, I have noticed some glaring similarities. I have prepared a checklist of what I learned from horror movies. A template, if you will.

thumb-20040929-check_markWe’re Taking A Trip

Have a bunch of stupid people traveling to remote area. Everything will fine.

thumb-20040929-check_markLeave Civilization Behind

Why travel in a car? How about walking on foot? Donkey?

thumb-20040929-check_markNo Bars

Bring your phone that will not work.

thumb-20040929-check_markI’ll Be Watching You

Make sure that a creepy person is sizing you up for your demise.

thumb-20040929-check_markHello! Please Kill Me!

When you hear a noise, please investigate. Let the killer know where you are.

thumb-20040929-check_markPick Off the Little Sick One

One person dies first and everybody else is on high alert.

thumb-20040929-check_markKeep Hope Alive

The optimist tries to keep the survivor’s spirits.

thumb-20040929-check_markEverything Is Not Okay

The pessimistic rebuffs any chance for survival.

thumb-20040929-check_markIs There A Doctor In The House?

One of the characters has to be a medical student to fix up the potential worm food.

thumb-20040929-check_markRock Out With Your Cock Out

Go on and have sex when a killer is about to get you.


Screw being in a vast open space to be killed. Go into a small, crapped place. Great idea, brianiac!

thumb-20040929-check_markI’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

One of your lower extremities has to fail to make you a prime target.

thumb-20040929-check_markMake Creative Kills

Slice, cut, julienne multiple enemies with swords, knives, chainsaws, etc. Whatever is near you.

thumb-20040929-check_markWhen In Doubt, Gouge Their Eyes Out

Blind them! Use your thumbs. Get in there good.

thumb-20040929-check_markCost You an Arm or a Leg

If an infected person bites you, you have to amputate said body part as gruesome as possible.

thumb-20040929-check_markHappy Entrails to You

The killer wants to expose your insides to everyone. Look at my guts!

thumb-20040929-check_markBlood Baptism

You have to have your friends or the enemy’s blood smear all over you like facial.

thumb-20040929-check_markScared Shitless

One of your friends has to sneaks up behind you.

thumb-20040929-check_markStab Me in Neck, Why Don’t You?

When you just killed a creature, immediately swing at the first thing that approaches you. Have your victim inexplicably talk while blood is running out of their throats.

thumb-20040929-check_markBye, Bye Birdy

If some annoying animal is in your way of survival, kill it.


If there is no way out, take the plunge and take any one in the vicinity with you.

thumb-20040929-check_markHappily Never After

Be creative. Don’t have all the characters survive.

I’m not saying that all horror movies are the same, but I just want to point out some things. I has a great time diving into the unknown. I would like to do it again. Until next time…


About Branden

Branden: I am just your average movie nut that reviews films. Gives his take on pop culture and Hollywood happenings. Dreams to have his own thriving website and make a living doing what he is passionate about.

Posted on November 2, 2009, in Creep-A-Thon, Running Feature, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. mcarteratthemovies

    Of all the Halloween/horror movie-themed lists I’ve read in the past week, this is by far my favorite — very original and very observant. Great job pointing out some standards as well as many I hadn’t noticed. My personal favorite: “Rock Out with Your Cock Out.” I observed this one in action in “Halloween II,” the latest attempt by Rob Zombie to bastardize the pristine legend that is Michael Myers.

    • Thanks, M. I’m very observant like that. I keep noticing the same things repeatedly. I decided on Friday to make the list.

  2. Hahahahahaha…………..hilarious and funny because it’s incredibly accurate. When I was a kid my mom always soothed my concern with horror films and realities by always stating:

    “Honey, there couldn’t be scary movies without stupid people in them.”

    This, even today, is how I still hold movies in regard. If the victims are smart, then I at least feel a sense of fear, but those that fall victim to these typical behaviors. 🙂

    Great list.

    • Sometimes I really hate it when movies follow the same formula. It’s something different about horror movies that should not change.

      I love shouting, “Don’t go in there. Why are you going upstairs? Get out, dumbass!” Ah! I should watch more horror movies. They are a barrel of laughs.

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