The Covenant (2006)

covenant

I’m going to make you my Wee-yotch!

— Chase Collins

This is the first time in memory watching a Renny Harlin movie. The Covenant has a reputation of being the gayest straight witch movie ever to be created on celluloid. There are endless sequences of the boys being shirtless or even less and a man-on-man mouth rape. The rest of the film, however, is god-awful.

This movie tells the convoluted story about the sons of Ipswich, a powerful Wiccan sect that have been in the shadows ever since the Salem Witch Trails. It was believed that there were five descendants that survived.

We are introduced to four of them; Caleb (Steven Strait), the leader of the sons with Pogue, Reid, and Tyler (Taylor Kitsch, Toby Hemingway, Chace Crawford) that try to keep their supernatural powers under control.

Things change when a hidden, powerful fifth force threatens the kids at the Spencer boarding school.

There is nothing redeemable about this movie. The action sequences were clunky. You could actually notice that these people were on wires. The dialogue is atrocious. The acting was wooden. The only thing about this movie is the endless sweaty, shirtless scenes with the male cast members.

Judgment: A generic movie that should have a soft-core gay porn flick.

Rating: **

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About Branden

Branden: I am just your average movie nut that reviews films. Gives his take on pop culture and Hollywood happenings. Dreams to have his own thriving website and make a living doing what he is passionate about.

Posted on October 12, 2009, in 2006, Action, Mystery, Thriller and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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